Creating a hole.

It’s funny how, in an instant, everything can change. I had just returned home from taking my last two finals, excited about the conclusion of the semester, more than ready to start the long awaited break. As I was checking Facebook, already bored with my freedom, a status caught my eye and my stomach dropped.

Mike Price was a football coach, physical education teacher, driver’s education teacher, as well as a father, husband, friend, and mentor to many. As long as I’ve lived in my tiny little town, he had been someone I could turn to for help or encouragement. No matter how well you were acquainted, Mr.Price always went out of his way to bring a smile to your face. After hearing of his sudden death, it became apparent how much of an influence he had on my life. “You don’t know what you have until it’s gone”, took on a whole new life. Most of you never had the privilege of meeting this wonderful man, but for those of us who were lucky enough to have him in our lives, we know what a loss of this magnitude means. There’s a hole in many of our hearts today, one that can’t be filled easily. Because of Mr.Price, hundreds of students have learned what it means to have respect for themselves and others, to treat those around you with coutrsey and care. Mr. Price was one of the most selfless, caring people I ever had the privilege to meet. His laugh, presence, and sarcastic sense of humor will be missed greatly, and his memory cherished.

For everyone who hasn’t had to deal with the loss of one close to you, don’t take it for granted. Treasure every second you have with them, hold onto the memories and laughs and take advantage of every opportunity to make new ones. Before you know it, they could be gone.

RIP Mike Price, December 16, 2011

(http://salinehornets.com/2011/12/16/tragic-news/)

 

-M. McIntire

On love and other disgusting things…

I have the worst luck; when I was three, I fell down two flights of stairs, hitting my head on the cold tile floor. When I was five, after smelling a flower, a bee flew up my nose. At the age of twelve, my eye met the metal supports of a swing set, and at thirteen, I sliced my leg wide open on a door. After entering my teenage years, my luck continued in a dramatic downward spiral with no end in sight. This time, however, it wasn’t physical injuries.

Between the ages of fourteen and seventeen, I subjected myself to more emotional, and psychological distress, damage, and depression, than I have ever experienced. Being the stubborn kid I was, I was determined to have a “boyfriend”. I didn’t care if there was an attraction. I didn’t care what he looked like. I didn’t care if he was a complete nerd, or a burnt-out pot head. As long as I had the attention of a guy, I was happy. Freshman year of high school was brutal: yeah, it’s tough for everyone, but this year in particular took the meaning of “teenage angst” to a whole new level. After a three-week fling with the school’s most popular drug dealer, I was completely wasted…in every sense of the word. I wasn’t heartbroken, per se, but the unrelenting feeling of loneliness soon consumed me. Before long, I was back on the hunt, ready, once again, to humiliate and degrade myself all for a little attention. This pitiful process went on for far too long. After finding a “nice guy”, our two-year relationship ended. (turns out Mr.Nice Guy was being “nice” to more than just me!) By now you’re probably wondering why on Earth I’m wasting your time with stories of my pathetic early teenage years. Here’s the deal; ladies, I know many of you have dealt with junk like this. The point is, you don’t need to! Through all my years of taking crap from guys, I’ve finally learned what it means to have self-respect. I find it sad how so many beautiful, intelligent girls give themselves up just to be noticed for a time. I can’t say it enough, it’s not worth it. It’s been said before that, how can someone love you if you don’t love yourself? Once you learn that, “Hey, I’m beautiful, I’m smart, I’m funny, and heck, I don’t need a guy to make me, me!”, THEN you’re able to live your life the way you were meant to. But here’s the best part; once that happens, before you know it, the right guy will come along and completely sweep you off your feet. When that happens, everything changes…

Almost a year ago, I met a guy. At first it was too good to be true. I’m sure some of you have had this experience; you meet someone, they’re absolutely perfect, leaving you with the question, “So, what’s the catch?” That’s where I was at, but despite my best efforts, I never could find that “catch”. Months passed, we continued to talk and finally, we started dating. I know, round of applause to me. Long story short, it’s been three months and this kid is the love of my life. Go ahead and laugh, roll your eyes, whatever you want to do, but it’s completely true. He fills all my gaps, he makes me laugh, he’s there when I need to cry, and he loves me for me; not for what I can give, or what I have or don’t have. Not to mention, he’s completely gorgeous. Ladies, really, y’all missed out. But in all seriousness, I don’t think I ever would have been able to be where and who I am without him. It’s the most beautiful thing. I’ve learned so much about myself and what it means to really put someone else first, to care about someone else more than yourself, I’ve become a totally different person and that wouldn’t have happened without him.

The point is, none of this would have happened if I would’ve kept on the way I was. It was only after I learned to respect myself without the constant attention of a guy, that the perfect guy came along. I know it gets hard and discouraging sometimes. It seems like you’ll never find the person you’re supposed to spend your days with, your “Prince Charming”. But trust me, I’ve been there: keep your chin up, hang in there just a little longer. Before you know it, you’ll be swept off your feet like I was, and every lonely day, every heartbreak will become a distant memory. There’s a song by one of my favorite bands, Needtobreathe, called ‘Slumber‘ and there’s a verse that says,

“Tongues are violent, personal and focused

Tough to beat with your steady mind

But hearts are stronger after broken

Wake on up from your slumber, open up your eyes”

They got it exactly right; all the junk you’ve dealt with, the heartbreak and hurt is making you ready for when that perfect person walks in. It’s a learning experience. It hurts and might not make sense now, but when the day finally comes, everything will fall into place.

It will happen. That person is out there, and they’re waiting for you too. Get ready, ’cause when they finally come into your life, nothing is the same. Prepare for the most beautiful, exhilirating days of your life.

Hang onto it, cherish it, and never let it go.

M. McIntire

Before I die.

I’m not dying. At least, not yet. But even as the rest of my life hangs in front of me, there are things I must, no, will do before they put me six feet under. Everybody has things they want to accomplish before their time is up. If you don’t, you should. Every day, write down one dream, goal, or destination you want to meet in your life. It’ll give you the motivation and drive enough to push through each monotonous day life throws at you. Some of the things I dream to see, some of you might think are a little “out there”, others, might consider routine. But for me, there’s nothing more exhilarating than the idea of getting out of this silly mitten-shaped state, and really seeing the best of this Earth.

Here we go:

(These awesome pictures you’re about to see aren’t mine. As much as I wish I could claim them, I can’t.)

1. Everybody wants to go scuba diving. Who doesn’t like clear water, colorful plants, and adorable fish? While that’s all fine and dandy, I want to take it one step farther. In Mexico, there are caves…underwater. Who knew? Just imagine plunging hundreds of feet below the surface, entering a world few have seen. The rush has to be incredible. And, the view’s not too bad, either.

     2. From one extreme to the other, skydiving has always been a dream of mine. Those childhood dreams of flying can come to fruition for a few moments. Free falling from thousands of feet, nothing but a sheet of polyester to break your fall, sounds like a blast, right?

(http://www.skydive-dc.com/)

    3. I hate the cold. There’s nothing worse than cold fingers, frozen toes, and drippy noses. despite my disdain for the arctic temperatures, I would brave the worst of the worst to see a view like this. There’s something eerie about these Northern Lights that have always drawn me to them. Someday, I’ll be seeing them for myself.

(http://www.alaska-in-pictures.com/camping-under-northern-lights-576-pictures.htm)

         4. Music is my passion. Going to shows is my motivation in life; big shows, small shows, popular artists, and local bands. Being in the presence of live music does something for the soul. But just imagine it: getting lost in a sea of people, music hanging in the air, people from all countries and walks of life, everywhere you look, dancing, singing, life being lived for three days straight. This is Bonnaroo.

(http://www.wired.com/underwire/2010/04/bonnaroo-giveaway/)

         5. This last one, there’s no way I could ever sum it up in one bullet point. When all is said and done, I want to see the world, every last inch of it. From Africa, to every last waterway and alley of Italy. France, Germany, Spain, and Scotland are on my list. The foods, the languages, the cultures, I want to experience it all. If it takes me to the day I die, I’m alright with that. I want to experience all that this crazy world has to offer.

(http://lfmsseurope2009.blogspot.com/2009/02/in-2-weeks.html)

The point is, I’ve got the travel bug and I’ve got it bad. It’s important to get excited about something; set some goals, follow some dreams, do something crazy. It doesn’t have to be as big as diving out of a plane, or seeing the world. Do something you’re passionate about, and what makes you happy. Just…live a little.

Get out there,

M.McIntire

How To Be Eighteen

It’s funny; when starting this blog, I never expected to have any serious following. I figured it would be something read by few, an easy way to let off some steam and maybe share an occasional provoking thought; boy, was I wrong.

While sitting in the campus coffee shop, my usual window seat, a former professor of mine took the empty chair across from me. After minutes of awkward conversation, she went on to tell me that her daughter somehow found my blog and liked what I had to say. Naturally, I was flattered. My professor told me that, with her daughter’s birthday coming up, she thought it would be a nice surprise if I blogged something she would be interested in, just for her. This put me in an unusual position; not only had I never met this girl, but what on Earth could I write that she would find appealing, especially for her birthday. Nonetheless, I agreed.

After hours of fruitless brainstorming, I realized what I needed to share. The following is for you, Maggie. Happy 18th birthday. Enjoy it.

How To Be Eighteen

Eighteen is a weird age. By society’s standards, you’ve come of age, you’re finally an adult. But for me, nothing could be further from the truth. Still in high school, starting college, it was an ongoing internal battle between my “adulthood” and the remaining teenage rebellion that was desperate to be unleashed on the world. Nonetheless, it’s an amazing time to learn, to grow, and to find the person you’re supposed to be. Along the way, you’ll have bumps, you’ll get hurt, and you’ll move on and find yourself becoming someone you never thought possible. But, to soften those bumps and hurts just a little, here are five things I’ve learned from being eighteen:

1.  Take your time: When I turned eighteen, I felt this incredible pressure to start my life, right then. I had no plan, no direction, and no idea who I wanted to be, what I wanted to do, or where I wanted my life to go. It wasn’t until I realized that I had time, that I could relax and make a plan for myself. Yeah, you’re an adult, and yes, you need to have a direction and goals for yourself, but don’t forget that there’s still time. Don’t rush, take things as they come.
2. Use your head: Being eighteen, you’re still going to be dealing with all the typical “teenage woes”; the boyfriends, the caddy girls, the stubborn parents. With all that, you’re going to feel the temptation to make situations bigger, more dramatic, more difficult than they need to be. Something I learned early on, and this applies to life beyond the teenage years, is to really think things through. It’s easy to jump to conclusions, and assume the worst. But if you take the time to analyze what’s going on, why people are doing and saying the things they are, why situations are unfolding they way they are, you’ll save yourself a world of hurt later on. So, sometimes, you’re going to feel like knot in your gut telling you to take revenge, ignore your parents, do what you want ’cause, heck, you’re an adult. Don’t. Be the adult that you are, and act like one.
3. Use your heart: I know what you’re thinking, how hypocritical can I be, right? Well listen. This may seem self-explanatory, and it is, but at the same time, it’s a concept that I see people miss constantly. A part of growing up is having the ability, the responsibility to choose for yourself. It’s so incredibly important, too. While it’s important to listen to the advice of others, the decisions you make for yourself ultimately fall on you. Real life example: For the longest time, my parents were set on the idea that I would go to school to be a nurse. Just a few problems with that: not only do I hate blood, poop, vomit, and any other body excretion, but the idea of being responsible for someone else’s life terrified me. When I turned eighteen, I decided I was going to choose for myself, despite my parents’ dreams for me. Since I’ve done that, I’ve gained an enormous amount of respect from them. Showing those around you that you have the ability to think things through logically, while doing what you want for yourself, is a critical part of becoming you! It’s a fine line to walk, but once you master it, things will fall into place.
4. Enjoy it: Seriously now, just because you’re “technically” an adult, doesn’t mean you have to throw out your SpongeBob action figure and Disney movies. Hang onto the things that have made you, you! Heck, I still use a Little Mermaid pillowcase, and a Hello Kitty key chain. Being eighteen is great, you get to act like a kid , because you’re still a teenager, while sharing in the privileges of adulthood. Have adventures, make friends, laugh until you cry, make memories. Before you know it, you’ll be tossed into the real world. Making the most of the teenage years you have left will be something you won’t regret. Memories will be made that you will carry with you for the rest of your life. Enjoy this time!
5. Do it: This may be the single most important thing I’ve learned in my eleven months of adulthood. When given the chance to do something, go somewhere, have an experience, take it. With your newfound adulthood should also come a confidence. Know that you’re ready and able to take on what life throws at you. Yeah, it may seem scary at times, but with each chance you can take and fear to be faced, comes another opportunity to not only make valuable memories, but to experience things you may never otherwise be able to. I cannot stress this enough. Step outside your comfort zone, go somewhere new, talk to someone you’ve avoided, take a road trip, go camping, do something that you will never forget. You won’t regret it.

This advice isn’t fool-proof. You’ll come up against tough times, you’ll question your decisions, and you’ll get scared. All of those feelings and experiences, no matter how terrifying and seemingly endless they may be, will in the end prove to be unmeasurably valuable. I hope, in some small way, you’ve found some encouragement. Get ready, you’re in for one crazy, exciting ride. Enjoy every second.

Happy birthday,

M. McIntire 

 

You don’t have to hibernate.

Living in Michigan for 18+ years, I’ve learned what it means to be cold. Around this time every year, the chilly after-fall-but-not-quite-winter winds begin to blow. It’s then that we know it’s coming. It’s inevitable, unavoidable, and inescapable. We break out our winter coats and snow tires, prepare our scrapers and turn up the thermostats; snow is coming.

While hibernating, sleeping away the months of dark skies and slippery roads can seem extremely tempting, too many people overlook the simple beauty of the season. I can’t argue, our Michigan winters can be vicious. But even as the sun goes on hiatus, birds fly south, and the roads become deadly, winter has an eerie beauty that I can’t help but revel in. On even the coldest of days, it’s easy to find things to do that can help ease the pain of the arctic take over.  So grab your mittens, bundle up, and enjoy this beautiful season with these few ideas:

• Get outside: Even while temperatures plummet, there are plenty of things for the whole family to enjoy. Whether sledding, skiing, or taking a walk, enjoying the snow can be an easy way to pass the time. Find your favorite sledding hill, build a snowman, or wage war on the neighbors with a snowball fight. The physical activity and time spent with friends and family has a way of warming  you from the inside out.

• Stay inside: Not all of us were made for the outdoor activities. For those of us who prefer staying warm, there are plenty of indoor activities to help keep our minds off of the arctic doom outside. There’s nothing more beautiful than watching snow fall. Grab a window seat with your favorite hot drink or a good book, and make peace with the weather. If you’re near a metropolitan area like I am, grab a window seat at your favorite coffee shop, and watch the hustle and bustle as the snow falls, and be thankful you’ve got a warmer place to be.

 

• Give back: Winter is the perfect time to give back to your community, to do something for someone else. While we’re indoors enjoying our coffee and heating, countless people are outside, braving the cold with no place to call home. Take some time out of your day and visit a local homeless center or soup kitchen. Helping people in need will allow you to see how fortunate you are.

 

(For this man’s story, visit: http://www.stevequayle.com/News.alert/05_Global/050530.homeless.html)

Winter can seem endless, but keeping a positive attitude can make the time fly. Find what you enjoy, and make it work for you. Whether it’s playing in the snow with your children, enjoying a book inside, or helping someone less fortunate, winter is an ideal time to do what you enjoy.

Stay warm,

M. McIntire

If a Guy Tried to Stab Me, I Would Not Take Him To Dinner

What would you do if you were mugged at knife point? If someone was holding a knife to your throat, demanding your money, how would you react? Me, I’d scream and cry and run for my life, like any normal person would. Julio Diaz, however, is not a normal person.

Read this: http://www.npr.org/2008/03/28/89164759/a-victim-treats-his-mugger-right

How cool is that? I mean, not only did he keep his cool the entire time, but he had a heart and loved on the kid! That is exactly how we need to act, in any situation. The sweaty guy in the office next to you, the jerk lady who stole your parking spot, your kid sister who always takes your clothes; we need to be treating these people with love like Mr.Diaz did. Who knows what’s causing these people to act the way they do. By acting humane, like civilized, caring people, we could save ourselves, and others, a world of hurt.

Think about it.

M. McIntire

Slow down.

Christmas is coming. Amidst the hustle and bustle of frantic shoppers, screaming infants not getting what they want, and shopping mall Santa’s eagerly awaiting their next cigarette break, there’s something that keeps being overlooked. Yeah, every now and then someone manages to look past the Christmas chaos and catch a glimpse of what I’m talking about, but all too often it goes unnoticed.

Let me explain: Christmas is called, “The Season of Giving”, right? But how true is that? While we give gifts to our parents, siblings, our obnoxious co-worker, and countless other people, what’s happening to the people who need our giving most? We get so wrapped in our lives, our immediate arbitrary, selfish wants, that we overlook those of the people who have the greatest needs. In my county, homeless shelters have been filling up after their very first week of opening to the public (http://www.heritage.com/articles/2011/11/25/life/doc4ece82970e91a233226611.txt). Temperatures are falling as the need continues to rise. Meanwhile, we continue our shopping, planning, and stressing over not getting exactly what we want this year. For once, let’s try something different. This Christmas, stop worrying about “the latest and greatest”, and do something for someone else. We’re surrounded by people who are hurting, who don’t know where their next meal is going to come from, or where they’re going to sleep that night. Give some of the time, money, and effort we’ve been spending on ourselves, and give it back to someone who needs it.

Slow down, count your blessings, and really make Christmas the season of giving.

Merry Christmas,

M. McIntire

Life Lessons Learned at Taco Bell

I hate fast food. There is nothing more unappealing than greasy, over processed food. Nonetheless, I decided to join my group of over zealous friends for lunch at Taco Bell. Little did I know there was to be a lot more on our plate than just a few slimy burritos.

We joked about turning crazy ideas into billion dollar inventions, and shared our woes of being eighteen. We lamented, laughed, and ate. After small talk over deep-fried tacos, and greasy pinto beans, a friend out of nowhere asked, “Have you ever thought about your future, and just see nothing? I mean, not just not having an idea of what you want, but literally seeing nothing?” Naturally, this brought our immature joking to a screeching halt. I was taken aback. What would bring such a lighthearted kid to say something so disturbing? We gradually changed the subject and continued eating. The question at hand gradually slipped our minds as we headed back to campus.

The day went on, but the question wouldn’t leave my mind.Later that day, I ran into the boy again and I had to know what he meant. He said, “I’m just so sick of school. I’m so sick of dealing with all this pressure to become something. Why can’t I just get a job that I enjoy, and live a life that makes me happy. We’re supposedly free, but we’re not free at all. If we do things one way, we upset somebody, but if we do things the way we want, then we disappoint somebody else.” With that, he walked off, leaving me speechless. I got angry and scared because I knew he was right.

It’s very likely that I’m biased. Being a full-time student, I know what it’s like to be stressed and to feel the need to escape. My father is a Lt. Colonel in the Army, a “war hero”, and my mother is the picturesque homemaker. Me, I’m the oldest child with dreams of making a name for myself, stuck in a small town in Michigan. Sounds like a good plot for a movie, right? Nonetheless, this question of, “Why must we please everyone, every time?” hit home. Everyone’s felt it; that internal battle between their dreams and aspirations, and the dreams others have for them. Why is it, so often, that we feel we have to shape our lives around the hopes of others? With graduation fast approaching, I’ve felt the pressure to decide for myself, more than ever. I’m no philosopher, and I am by no means a scholar. But after eighteen years of living, making mistakes, and coming back from them, I’ve learned one very important lesson; you’ve been given one life, only one. It’s your life, and it’s your responsibility, your privilege to choose what you do with it. Whether you go after the dreams you have for yourself, or the dreams someone has for you, deciding for yourself is what is going to make all your endeavors worth the effort. With only one life and a very short amount of time, why on Earth would you fill it with regrets?

Choose for yourself.

M.McIntire

My Night With a Prostitute

I was only sixteen when I met Lisa. It was nothing glamorous; we exchanged words in the parking lot of a gas station, the Atlanta heat engulfing us. I was nervous, and she was apprehensive. Why would I, a middle-class, naive, white girl be trying so desperately to talk to her, a prostitute?

I had never been so afraid. With every passing mile, a new wave of nausea and nerves flooded over me. Our small team of twelve had been in Atlanta for a week by this time, reaching out to and loving on the people of that depraved community, in any way we could. This night, however, was different. We were stepping even farther out of our comfort zones, leaving our orphanage work and feeding of the homeless behind, as we entered the heart of Atlanta’s “red light district”. Prostitution was rampant, and we were being thrown into the middle of it.

The lumbering fifteen passenger van finally came to a stop. Parked in the shadows of a deteriorating Shell station, the doors opened and I was told to get out. Armed with nothing but a greeting card and a rose, I began my seemingly endless walk across the lot. At first, I didn’t know who or what to be looking for. Coming from a small northern town, my mind was flooded with images of what I thought a prostitute would look like. Big hair, excessive makeup, scantily clothes, thanks MTV. As I came around the back of the station, I saw a woman, no, a girl walking around alone. She wore a tight white skirt, but her shirt hung off of her, caked with dirt. Her hair was pulled back into corn-rows. She had no teeth. I looked back at the van for my que — this was her. My throat tightened, my mind went blank as my heart began to pound. Doubt filled me, who was I to be doing this? I was nobody, I had no influence.

After what seemed like an eternity, I reached her, she pretended not to see me. After a timid hello, she looked me over. She called herself Lisa. Her face was lined with hurt, her arms covered with tatoos claiming, “Death Before Dishonor”, and “Only God Can Judge Me”. I handed her the card and the flower, telling her that she was beautiful, loved, and that there was a way out of that life. Tears filled her eyes. She hugged me. Before I realized what was happening, I was returning the embrace. She told me she was living this life for her young son. I couldn’t help but wonder if he was also a result of this life. Looking into her eyes, I could feel the load she was carrying, but never had a way to share. The pain of years of selling herself to make a living was finally being released, on a total stranger. My time was running out. We hugged once more as a meek, “Thank you” came from her. I walked back to the van, the magnitude of what just happened hitting me for the first time.

It’s one thing to want change, it’s another to see the need, feel the desperation, and take action. After a few short minutes with this woman, my heart was broken. Something inside me changed and I felt the urgency. These women need someone. Having the opportunity to see a glimpse into this broken, hurting lifestyle, first hand, is something I will never forget. The memory is haunting, not a day goes by when I don’t remember Lisa. This haunting, the inability to forget is what keeps me motivated and driven, striving for change. Norman Rice once said, “Dare to reach out your hand into the darkness, to pull another hand into the light.” It is this mentality that will be a catalyst for real change, and a light for the women of Atlanta.

For more information, or for ways to donate, please go to http://princessnight.com/about

Much love,

M. McIntire

In an effort to make a change…

Hello all.

After a long running internal battle with myself, I finally broke out of my typical tumblr shell, and decided to explore the more ‘sophisticated’ world of blogging. Here, you’ll find an array of stories, observations, and teenage rampages. But have no fear, I promise, through the fog of nonsense and seemingly endless ramblings, there will be something worth reading. Hang tight, and enjoy the ride.

Love,

M.McIntire